Let Him Lead

So last month I had a revelation during salsa dancing for my friend’s birthday. I did such a GREAT JOB letting the men lead! Now, if you’ve ever been salsa dancing, you know that random men just come and ask you to dance. I know that sounds strange if you’ve never been but it’s really fun. Usually, it’ll be an older gentleman who’s a pro in the salsa game. They help you, teach you, & lead you. Lets back track…

The first time I went salsa dancing was with a group of friends for a birthday. We went early to take the free lesson so we would at least halfway know what we were doing when it was time to dance. It was fun, I got a couple of moves down (I’m a dancer so I pick up choreography pretty quickly…usually). Anyway, when it came time to dance I was doing great! BUT I kept trying to lead! One gentleman, who had to be in his late 50’s, stopped me at one point & said “you have to let me lead’ I was like whoops! I’m sorry, & I was better…kinda, for the rest of the night. So last month, after having gone a few times since the first time years ago, I did a great job at letting the men lead! I grew up with with a single mother & I’ve been a parent since I was 17, & I come from a long line (blood & chosen) of strong, opinionated women – we always have something to say. I’ve always been in control when it came to making decisions about my son’s life, but it won’t be that way once I get married & have more children – that is one area of my life that The Lord has been working on for a minute.

The bible says: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” ~Ephesians 5: 22-33~

Now lookey here, it says WIVES to HUSBANDS & vice versa. Let’s get that straight right now. It doesn’t say yo boo, yo bae, or even yo baby daddy, but your husband! I digress… there is a natural order of the household that needs to be in play for your home to be run properly & in order. Perfect? No, but properly & in order. I was never comfortable with that order because I’ve always had a “I DON’T NEED NO MAN TELLING ME WHAT TO DO” kind of attitude. (you have to close your eyes, tilt your head back & to the left, & wave your pinky finger while saying that). But I am very happy that God is working on me in that area & has changed my way of thinking in such matters.

Letting a man lead is not taking anything away from our strength as women. It actually takes a lot of strength to trust your husband to lead the household. BUT this is why we as women must chose a man who is fully submitted to Christ. If he is not submitted then how can he lead your household? Newsflash, HE CAN’T, absolutely cannot. Well, I guess he can… he can lead you into a ditch. But did you read what it said in Ephesians!? God is asking us to submit to our husbands but there is a HEAVY load on the man! He has a lot to do! Women run around rolling necks talking about “I’m not submitting to no man” but at the same time expect their husband to treat them the way God intended. Meanwhile, they have to cleanse us with the word (which means they have to study the word), love us like they love themselves – the word says if they don’t that means they DO NOT love themselves. They have to protect us and provide for us. They have to cover us. They have to make sure we feel safe & secure. Their love for us is like a mirror & it reflects how they feel about themselves. They have to love us like Christ loved us, hello? He died for us! If they present us with a spot or blemish, who gets it? Not us, they do – they’re responsible. I don’t know about you but I don’t want to do all that! I do not want that responsibility. So yes, I will submit to my husband & be his helpmate because he will be submitted to Christ & he has a heavy load to bear along with my moods and inability to decide what I want to eat even though I’m always hungry.

This is why when choosing a mate, we have to be sure it’s God’s best for us. We can’t base it off of looks, money, clothes, or any fleeting thing. Does he go to church? Does he love God? Does he follow Christ? Is he in his word? Does he spend time with God? Does he have accountability? Is he consistent? Is he honest? Is he integral? Does he hold you accountable? Is protecting your purity important to him? (whether you’re a virgin or abstaining) Can he help you, teach you, & lead you? And does he take your snotty tissue after praise & worship & put it in is pocket & make sure you always have gas in your car…

Strippers Know Jesus Too

So I came across a picture on Instagram of strippers praying. I see a lot of people making fun of this pic (and I get it), but when I saw it I was like “well at least they know where their help comes from”. Now I don’t know what they’re praying for, but the mere fact that they are praying shows their reverence for God which is more than I can say for a lot of folk who call themselves Christians today. I know that sounds crazy, but some people get so caught up and so self righteous, that they forget they aren’t perfect. God can do anything and He can change anyone. Prayer changes things and it changes our hearts. It removes anything that does not look like Christ and fills the holes and gaps with His Holy Spirit – all we have to do is ask. Who knows, maybe they’ll keep praying and God will change their prayers from “Lord, let them toss nothing but 50’s and hundreds, and please allow my cheeks to clap with precision, to Lord, please protect me and get me out of this place”.

But for real! Sometimes I feel like the closer we get to God, the more we treat Him like He’s our homey. Yes, He wants to be our friend and the lover of our soul, but He is also Holy and we need to show Him honor! These girls are! Even though it doesn’t look like what we think it should look like, He is there with them and He is keeping them protected! The first time I saw the pic I actually prayed for the women in it. I prayed that His Spirit would really touch them and that they would get a revelation of their worth. They are still daughters of the King and He still loves them. Just like He loves us liars and fornicators. #Bloop

A lot of times we forget how far away from the cross we are, but that it’s because of His blood that we are redeemed. We are not saved because we’re good people or because we do good things. We are saved because He loves us. We didn’t deserve it, but He cared for us so much that He died for our sins. Does He expect us to never mess up, nope. But as Christians we should always strive to look like Him. Will we fail? Yes, but does His blood cover? Oh yes!

So yeah, who knows, maybe some of those young ladies will be evangelists one day. Look at some of your favorite leaders, most of them were a hot mess at one point. I use to pose half naked in men’s magazines and now I teach kids church and I am spreading the gospel as far as I can. I didn’t think there was anything wrong with posing for XXL Eye Candy or King, but now the only man who will see my half naked body will be my husband…or if you google, but that’s neither here nor there. (what does that even mean) anyway…

I’ve always had a gift of capturing people’s attention and them listening to what I have to say, but just like I’ve mentioned before, people will listen to Ivonnah from TV and magazines quicker than Ivonnah from The Elm (New Haven is called The Elm City). I use the platform that was built to spread God’s word. Being a Christian isn’t about being perfect, it’s about living our lives for Christ and letting Him change us right? People change, behavior changes, and when someone is submitting themselves to the Lord to be better then why do we kick them when they’re down? We tell them to grow while we have our foot on their neck because we continue to remind them of where they use to be. We don’t even give them a chance to show that their behavior has changed before we go accusing them based on previous actions. We’re supposed to be a support, iron sharpens iron right? Well how about we sharpen each another and not stab one another in the chest. Amen

Get yo life

You guys! I have not written a blog in exactly ONE YEAR (I have a draft from May that I never finished). Geez, I really need to get my life together. I keep making excuses “my desktop is acting up” “the laptop is acting up” “when I get my new MacBook I’ll write everyday” – sike. The truth of the matter is whatever is important to you, you’ll do what it takes to get it done. And what you do before is what you’ll do after “I’m not gone cheat once I get married” yes you will. You have to start the process to do better before you get the blessing.

Anyway, I have a very nifty iPhone that has all the capabilities I need to create (I actually got the 6 today & it’s too big for my lil ole child-like hands). Anywho, my reality is that I’ve just been in my own way; I finished school (kinda) and I’ve just been working a regular job #whomp – it’s the pits. When I graduated I was like uhhh I gots bills! So I started working at a car dealership lol I have no idea how – I know NOTHING about cars…absolutely…nothing. Although it doesn’t have anything to do with why I moved to LA, it’s been cool because I found my purpose in being there & once that happened, I no longer had the urge to stab myself in the eye. But as of late, I’ve been feeling like God’s foot is on my back & He’s pushing me out of that place. There was a purpose for me to be there & now my assignment is done. Hallelujah. But an incident that happened today reminded me of how important it is to listen to God & follow His voice.

A customer’s kids broke my phone about three weeks ago right, I had an upgrade available so I wasn’t trippin’, but I could not decide on what phone I wanted. I’ve been walking around with a busted up phone because I am so dang indecisive (there will be a whole other blog about that). I went all the way to Connecticut for Christmas with my phone JACKED. Before I left, I went to Best Buy mobile in Northridge mall (they have the best staff by the way), and I drove the poor man crazy because I couldn’t make up my mind. So today my coworker was like ummm go handle that before you get glass in your ear & before you’re exposed to radiation. She use to work for a phone company & knows things that we uhhh…don’t. So I went.

My shondo (your spirit or your gut feeling) was telling me to go back to the store that I had originally gone to, but did I? No. First, I went to the Best Buy down the street from my job because it was closer. Distraction. I asked about the $1 per month lease special that had been explained to me before. They knew nothing about that, but I still had my name put on the list to see a rep. A guy I knew from church put it on there, so when I was getting an urge to leave I felt guilty because I didn’t want to knowing that he worked there. But I left. It was pizacked. Then as I was driving I called Sprint because I had a few questions about my bill (they be trying to get you). Anyway, after that was resolved, I asked about the lease special that had been explained to me prior at Best Buy mobile. Eric wasn’t sure about the $1 per month lease either, but he told me about the $5 lease special. So as I’m sitting in my car in the mall parking structure I’m thinking “hmmm maybe I should just go across the street to the Sprint store”. Distraction. But I got out of the car & went into the mall.

When I walked in, I didn’t look at the directory, I made a wrong turn & started in the opposite direction of BB Mobile. (That’ll preach). When I realized I was going the wrong way I turned back & began to head towards the store. As I walked back, I saw a Sprint kiosk & a sign that said “cut your bill in half” so that immediately caught my eye. Distraction. The sign was for Verizon & AT&T customers so that was of no use to me. But then I thought “hmmm I can ask them about the lease special”. Distraction. Yessie didn’t know about $1 situation either & tried to sell me on the $5 one and showed me the different color options. Sidebar: Apple, can you make a gold one with the black face please!? Gee whiz. She was so sweet & helpful, but something in my shondo said GO TO BEST BUY MOBILE. I excused myself & I told her that I wanted to go ask about the $1 lease & if it wasn’t still happening that I would come back to her. She understood.

I moseyed on down to the store & immediately the gentleman who helped me before said “welcome back” lol I guess I made an impression…or maybe it’s the braids. Anywho, he came over & I asked him if the lease program was still going on & he said yes! So long story short, I got my iPhone 6 for $1 per month. After going from store to store, calling Sprint, almost leaving the parking structure & going to the store… After aaaallll of that I got what I wanted. But if I had just stayed on the path I would have gotten it much sooner & would have been less confused.

We do that to God all the time. We pray “Lord, just lead me in the right direction, I will follow your word & listen to your voice”. Sike. We pray, we listen, we hear His instruction, and we pick the parts that sound good, seem easy, or won’t make us look crazy. We know that God will never steer us in the wrong direction, but yet & still, we question what we know He has already promised us! We know what’s at the end, but we get off course along the way. Whether it be a job, your kids, a boo, whatever. We see shiny things on the sidelines & it gets us distracted from the end goal. We get so caught up on the things in between that we take our eye off the finish line. When runners are racing, they do not look at the audience or the runners beside them & they DEFINITELY don’t look at the runners behind them. Their eye is on the prize. Their eye is on the goal. Their eye is on the finish line. It keeps them focused. It keeps them in line & it keeps them on their path.

Our eyes need to stay fixed on Jesus. His word needs to stay buried in our hearts. If our eyes continually stay on Him, then when distractions come our way, we can curve them like no other. I knew where the blessing was! But I kept asking around! I almost missed the Best Buy blessing! If I had done the $5 instead of the $1 I would be paying $120 as opposed to the $48 I’ll be paying. Another sidebar: People, the $ goes BEFORE the number, $120 = one hundred & twenty dollars. When did 120$ become a thing & who started that!? I digress…

Because I listened to my shondo, I’m saving money, and I have a brand new phone. Sometimes we’re so afraid to do what God said because we’re afraid of how our peers will react. But when the store was packed I left! I did what was better for me. Yessie was so nice & I wanted to give her the sale so bad, but that wouldn’t be beneficial to my pockets. I put people first all the time & sometimes you just have to think of yourself. AND, bonus! I met a couple who is starting a company for natural healing. They cured her MS naturally through diet & exercise. God didn’t give us these plants for show. I’ve been trying to stick to a plant-based food diet for my blood pressure (that’s what she’s doing also) & her husband was telling me about how essential oils helped her too. What you put into your body is so important; you’re either feeding disease or preventing it based on your food choices. Plants give your body life. Dead meat flesh, well… You get my point. Now I’m not saying I’m a vegetarian, not into all those labels, because if I feel like having an In & Out burger… I’m gonna. See how I get off track. Anyway. Back to the subject, I listened to my gut (aka The Holy Spirit) & that always leads us in the right direction. And don’t say if I was there earlier I wouldn’t have met them. It took poor Zach 85 hours to download my 3000 pictures 😂. I woulda still been there when they got there.

The Bible is our directory. It guides us on every step we need to take. And when we make a wrong turn its okay, just turn around & head back to the path. Get back on course.

Sex, Lies, & Standards

I’ve been sitting here listening to Jesus I want you by Chanté Moore… like over and over for about a hour. The first time I heard her sing it was when they shot the video for R&B DIVAS LA at church. I think, maybe she sang it before that, anywho, it literally brought tears to my eyes – but when anyone sings who is filled with the Holy Spirit, it always does. For the past few days it’s been on my heart to write about virtue, but I didn’t know what angle God wanted me to come from, so it’s been on pause. My friend Allison just hit me with one of my faves from Chanté that we use to kill as kids & the melody reminded me of Jesus I want you so I turned it on and it’s been on repeat.

I’ve heard it sung by her a few times, but listening to the words just now really hit me! “I was looking for a friend, looking for a man, I was longing for flesh and bones…”. Men and women both look for the love in the wrong places. We long for the touch and the attention from someone in the natural but only God can fill that void in the spiritual. We go out searching for a mate, but we’re so broken that we keep attracting the wrong people and then we wonder why it doesn’t work out. Sidebar, ladies, Proverbs 18:22 says “He that finds a wife” not “She that go seeketh and searcheth for a man”… I digress, I don’t think that you have to be 100% whole when you find your mate or when your mate finds you, I think when you meet that person God will use them to fill in the cracks and crevasses that are left, but you cannot by any means be a broken mess. No one wants to deal with that, no one wants to be a tub of super glue.

Also, you cannot let your standards be lowered for anyone. I know that all we see is ratch these days, but we are sons & daughters of the King and we are royalty – joint heirs with Christ. Therefore, women we have to set the bar high and we have to be so hidden in Christ that a man has to go through Him to find us. And men you need to be so anchored in Christ that you find it to be your duty to protect her honor. One of my friend’s told me that her husband felt it was his duty to protect her virginity. That means he wasn’t saying “yeah I respect that” because that always comes with a but and dude trying to get some butt.

Respecting that and honoring you are two very different things. Respecting it means “I’ll put up with it as long as I can, if you don’t eventually put out then I’m on to the next” but honoring you means that he is on one accord with you and he feels it is his job to protect your virtue and both his and your purity – whether you’re both virgins or have rededicated your bodies to Christ. It is just as important to him as it is to you that you both abide by God’s word – “flee from fornication”…

I don’t understand why men think that when I say I’m abstaining from sex until marriage that it’s a joke or some ploy to make them chase me. No sir, God shut that down, and He was very serious about it. Did I like it, no, but I’m doing my best everyday to stay obedient to Him and to His word. The world will have you believe that casual sex is alright, it isn’t – that’s a lie from the pit of hell. It causes unnecessary repercussions once you become someone’s husband or wife. A temporary moment of pleasure can lead to a lifetime of pain and I’m so cool on that. I get it, men love the chase, well chase God and see if He lets you chase me to the altar.


Stop lyin’!

I’ve had someone stop me in the mall before and begin to “read” me & then ask for $5 to continue. I politely told them to hold all that noise, I’m cool, no thanks. At the time I was a Christian, but I wasn’t living or walking with Christ like I am now. Even still, I never really liked the idea of tarot cards, psychics, and clairvoyants – hence me telling her scuurrrrr (that’s a car screeching sound) I’m straight. It’s always been something that was creepy. Whooooodie whooooo, I rep Sag all day, but I do not live my life in accordance to what my horoscope says. I don’t even check that anymore, really, I find a little of myself in every sign. But as I get to know God more and more everyday I understand that that was the Holy Spirit on the inside of me telling them to halt whenever I was approached.

Do I believe they have a gift, somewhat, God tells me peoples’ business all the time, but I use it to pray for that person. I think that if they really tapped into who God is and what He had carved out for their life that they could use that gift for the powers of good and not evil. But what do I know – lé shrug. There is a such thing as a gift of prophecy, but people in the world get someone prophesying to them and someone using psychic ability confused. The difference between a prophet and a psychic is that a prophet gets a word from God and a psychic or clairvoyant get their info from the devil.  When someone prophesy’s over you they are confirming something God has already told you. They are speaking a true word into your life. They aren’t bringing any new information, they aren’t “reading” your life, they aren’t asking for $5 to continue. Everything that is told to you through prophecy can backed up by the bible and can be found in scripture. It is a prophets duty to expose sin, not to embarrass or make people feel ashamed, but to promote growth. Prophesy is about life while being a spiritist is death.

Leviticus 20:27 says “A man or woman who is a medium or spiritist (clairvoyant) among you must be put to death. You are to stone them; their blood will be on their own hands.” Ummmm ok see, I’m sorry, but really? Stone!? God just doesn’t go around stoning all willy nilly. If He wants to stone people that is proof that there is something wrong! Before He sent Jesus to save us, He just got rid of what was evil, therefore, this is evil!! I’ve read and I’ve researched before writing this, and I see so many blogs where people try to act like there is nothing wrong with going to a psychic, there are even “churches” who use them! Say what!? Hold my mule and clutch the pearls. That is a lie from the enemy! He is a liar and a deceiver and he wants to trick you into thinking that it’s harmless and it isn’t. He’ll trick you by having someone know all about you, tell you it’s a word from God when it’s really the devil trying to sink his hooks in you. He’ll give you the riches of this world but your soul will feel empty. You’ll have everything you ever dreamed, but wonder why you still don’t feel complete. You are committing spiritual suicide and wonder why you feel lonely. He’s a dirty low down creep who will entice you with then leave you hanging by your neck. He doesn’t have your best interest at heart. If you were going through a hard time, guess what, he knew too, and he sends his followers, his demons wrapped in flesh to “speak a word to you”. He’ll mask it like it’s from God, but it isn’t. The things that God promises you don’t come with compromise and losing of oneself. It doesn’t come with the pain of bending the person you are to become something that you aren’t. The promises of God will come with struggle, and maybe a little heartache, but they do not come with changing who you are as a person and falling out of line with the word of God. The heartache we feel is only temporary and it is because God had something better.

1 John 4 says “Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world. By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God”. The scripture says they have gone out into this world!! And do you know what that means?? It means they are building churches, they are “preaching” and they are speaking lies straight from the enemy into people’s lives and they need to stop lying!! So yeah, the next time someone speaks a word to you, test the spirit, is it from God or the devil, and if you go to psychics, or rely on a word that does not come from The Lord, I beg you to stop. God is not pleased and in the end you will be held accountable for your actions.

Heaven or Hell, you choose…

PS – The devil doesn’t look like this. He looks just like you are I parading around this earth like he’s one of us. Don’t get tricked, read your bible, know God’s word…

Granny Panties Don’t Work

A while ago in one of my blogs I mentioned soul ties & I said I’d get back at a later date, well, here’s the later date. Back in the old biblical days folks didn’t have the ceremonies we have today. To be considered married, the two became one when they had sex & their souls were tied together under God, & now they are husband & wife…end of blog lol I kid I kid, but do you see where I’m going with this? Their SOULS were TIED & the two became ONE. Do you understand that we are nothing but souls that were given flesh & bones to walk this earth to glorify God’s kingdom? That’s all we are!! But that’s a big deal! So our souls being connected & intertwined with people before it’s time, before they are our husband or wife only brings about heartache, pain & unnecessary stuff you’ll have to deal with when you do become married. It not only binds you to that person, but to all of the people that they have been with. I have my own crazy and I don’t need your crazy ex girlfriend hopping into my spirit too. No thanks.

People always say that waiting until marriage is old fashioned, that the Ten Commandments do not apply anymore, but read what Paul says in 1 Thessalonians “For you remember what we taught you by the authority of the Lord Jesus. God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor— not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways.” It says to control your body!! No excuses. You cannot say that you know God & do the opposite of what He says to do. It is not old fashioned – Thessalonians…that’s New Testament, post Jesus aka how we should be living.

Now a few years ago God tackled me to the ground & put me in a headlock, just kidding – God told me that I needed to stop having sex until I was married. This was not news to my ears, and I will not lie to you all & act like I just said “okie dokie Lord”, I didn’t. I think men are the most beautiful creation, especially a big ole Black one with a beard. Do I miss sex, YES, but do I want my marriage & the plans that the Lord has set for my life to be blessed & given to me HECK YES. It’s so much more important to be on God’s plan than to be on your own. It was a tough pill to swallow, but the Lord was very specific, & I am very thankful for it now. It has saved me from being bound to men that I would have had no business being bound to. Simply, it’s a relief! I know Aunt Flo is coming to town & on every physical I know my HIV test will be negative. *ye shrug*

Sooo, dating, I really hate when people say “we’re not supposed to date because there is no dating in the bible” yeah & your daddy isn’t trading you for a flock of cattle either, wait, that would be a herd huh? Anywho, marriages aren’t arranged like they were back then – we need to date, get to know people, see how they are, check their integrity, things like that. But dating in the church does not look like dating in the world – well it’s not supposed to.

I’m saying all this to say pull your panties back up ladies and gentlemen be the leader & make her purity (and yours) a priority whether you’re a virgin or rededicated your body to Christ. The intimacy that we long for should be the intimacy we are having with the Lord, get to know Him while we’re getting to know the person we’re dating. He will show you things you need to know about that person, He will warn you or give you the go ahead if you are sensitive to His Spirit – but that only comes from spending time.

Lastly, we can’t put ourselves in compromising positions & think that we’re so strong that we can resist the temptation…we cannot. Well we can, but only for so long. Paul also says in 1 Corinthians (Paul stayed warning the church about sex) “Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.” It is the only one that CLEARY AFFECTS, the affects are evident & like one of my girlfriends pointed out, it’s the only sin that becomes not a sin. It’s the trickiest one so you know it has to be important. The Holy Spirit is in you. That means we’re dragging the Holy Spirit into our mess!! Runnnnnn!!!! Run! Run! Run! I’ve been talking to a guy & I’ve had to run …cause he’s fine, & young & athletic &…yeah you get it. It’s just not safe lol. We can try little tricks like wearing granny panties or not waxing, it doesn’t work, trust me. So ladies put your pretty panties back on & keep your appointments just do not go to his house at all times of night & by no means spend the night! Or just don’t go to his house at all!

I digress, I am not here to repremand or talk down, I’m talking to myself too, hello…young fineian. But there’s a reason why we are supposed to be hidden in Christ. He needs to get through Christ & pass His inspection in order to get to us. Trust Me, God will not let a janky dude through if we are truly hidden in Him, only we can. Now can we be sexy & appealing, of course men are visual creatures, but we need to know how to catch without throwing too much. I heard on TV last night “if things were easy to find, then they wouldn’t be worth finding”.


I Gotta Get Mine, And You, You Gotta Get Yours…

Hey Hey Hey! Yeah so, I’m supposed to be writing a history paper, but I cannot go on until I get this off my chest. For months I’ve felt ummm stopped up, stuck, in a muck, in a rut, just like someone pushed the pause button on my life. Only to find out that it was God, He was giving me specific instructions about my life, but I was ignoring Him because I was afraid of the repercussions of man. Let me tell you something, just like a spouse, or a boyfriend or girlfriend know just what buttons to push to get a reaction out of you, the LORD knows exactly what you need to get you to where He wants you to be if you are not listening. Now God is a gentleman, He won’t FORCE you to do anything, but He does know how to deal with each of His children in a very specific way. Like a parent, He deals with us all according to our needs, our personality, our knowledge and our attitude, things like that. For instance, I let Christian (my son) get a tattoo for his 16th birthday, I know people will not agree but I know my son, and I know the significance of what he wanted. It’s a beautiful tattoo to remind him of my grandfather who was his bff. Now when I have more children, they may want one at 16, and I can hear it now “but you let Chris get one!” and I may have to answer “yes, but you want Tinkerbelle on the back of your neck, no ma’am”. Her pappy and I will have to deal with her accordingly. With that being said, God always tries to give me slight nudges, little pushes to say “go that way”, but unfortunately He usually has to smack me down on my face in a pile of tears and snot for me to listen…I know, I’m trying to do better, but it’s the truth, I don’t always listen! I like to live on the edge I guess (like this paper that’s due Wednesday that I haven’t started). :-/

Anywho, I finally decided to listen, and ever since I did I’ve felt like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders, I’m seeing and hearing more clearly, and I just feel FREE, like doors are opening and nothing is holding me down. I don’t know why people think that being a Christian is all about rules and regulations, it isn’t! It is about FREEDOM in Christ! You are so much more free when you are obedient to His word, especially when He gives YOU a specific word for your life. You can’t let others tell you what you need to be doing in order to be in line with Christ, and you can’t lean on other people’s anointing as your own and expect to reap the benefits! You cannot walk in someone else’s calling and expect to be blessed! You have to walk in the path that God has carved out especially for you even if others don’t understand, even if you don’t understand. Hello, lean not on your own understanding…we say we trust God yet we question His judgement lol that just sounds ridiculous! WE don’t trust HIS judgement…let’s let that marinate…

OK, yeah so as I say all of this, I must say that you gotta get yours when it comes to the Lord. Not in a selfish, self serving way, but in a way that is reflective of Jesus Christ. Praise and Worship for instance, is not a show for you to sit, listen and be entertained by the vocal styling of the best singers of your congregation. Because really, the Lord can pass you the mic at any time and ask you to sing wit yo non singin’, voice crackin’ self. Yes!! It can happen, you know why, because the person with the best voice may not be anointed, or they may be in the flesh, but your praise is so pure that it sounds beautiful to ears of God. Now an anointed beautiful voice is a blessing Halleujah!! but that cracking pure spirit is just as amazing.

We don’t go to church to always receive, receive from the pastor, receive from the praise team, just soak up all the goodness of “church”. It’s not about tingly’s when your favorite praise leader starts singing your favorite song. It’s about you getting yours, however you need to, if you have to lay out in the floor, or cry out to the Lord!! Now, I do not in any means mean to make a spectacle of yourself and put on a show, don’t be foolish. But whatever it takes to get what you need, you need to do it! No matter who is watching because they should be getting theirs too and not be paying attention to you! Today I was on my FACE and I’m sure my tracks were showing, but if you saw my tracks, then you weren’t where you needed to be in the Spirit. When you’re fighting for your life it is NOT the time to be cute! You have to put in work, not just wait for church to usher in the Spirit to get what you need. You should be able to do it on your own, in the car, in the grocery store, on the highway, in the shower whenever you need Him!!

Punctuality and an order of service is not what one should be looking for. Do not stifle the Holy Spirit in order to stay on your agenda, or your schedule. Funny, I wrote that two months ago but today the Spirit moved one way and changed the course of the service and who are we to complain? Should order be in the church? Yes, of course but don’t try and dictate what the Holy Spirit is trying to do. The Lord obviously wants you to get something – TAKE IT!

Old School Lovin’

As I sit here with my son Christian watching The Prince of Egypt (his favorite movie), we get to the part where Moses has to tell his wife what God told him to do. Now this post isn’t about Moses, it’s about his wife, his better half, his rock, Zipporah…

One must wonder what goes through a persons mind when their husband comes home & says “honey, when I was out, God spoke to me through a burning bush & told me that I have to go back to my land & set my people free” I can imagine Zipporah’s extreme side eye.

I have a question for the ladies, well a few…How many of us can honestly say that we could have done what Zipporah did? Honestly, be truthful with yourself, no one is looking. Most women today won’t even stick by their man’s side in a dispute, nevermind being by his side when he’s called by God to lead a people out of a country & face the most powerful King in the land. The person who had the ability to double the Israelites work load, or worse, kill Moses & his family if they even stepped foot into the palace.

But back to Zipporah, when one reads Exodus it doesn’t go into the conversation that she and Moses had when he told her about his encounter with God. When he said that they had to leave the confines of her daddy’s home. But in Prince of Egypt it does…well kinda, I mean it’s a cartoon but I imagine they portrayed a pretty accurate response. She had the “blank stare” “huh, are you for real” look on her face followed by the hanging of her head with a sigh. I’m sure there were many thoughts going through her mind, the danger her husband is going to face going home & telling his brother (not blood but…now The 10 Commandments plays every year at Easter you should know this story) Ramses that he had to let his people go. (why did I just think of the jail scene on Fresh Prince lol sorry) But ultimately she says “I’m going with you”. In the Bible God never said to pack up & take your family, like with Lot, God was specific about who was to go & with Abraham that he was to go alone. So I’m assuming she didn’t HAVE to go, she had a choice and she chose to be with her husband through the battle with his brother & withstand the trials right by his side.

Later on, when God was going to make Moses very ill because one of his sons wasn’t circumcised, Zipporah took a flint & circumcised him herself! She did that to protect her husband. I did a blog a while ago “Who’s Got You Covered” about husbands being the covering to their wives, wives need to have their husband’s back. Am I married, no not yet but the Lord has been preparing me lately. Now what if Zipporah had stayed home chillin with her pops Jethro & her sisters? Poor ole Moses would have been a goner…

A few months ago my friends parents celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary. I think that’s soooooo awesome! Why can’t couples these days last 4 years, or 4 months!? Couples back in the day stuck it out! They didn’t run at the first sign of danger, they respected their vows. Why are so many couples today divorcing or shacking up like that’s really OK!? It’s not! Vows between a man & woman are sacred and marriage isn’t a contract. It’s a vow under God. Stop playin house, acting like a wife & wondering why he won’t marry you!! Get married!!

*Dismounts high horse*

Anyway, the whole point of this blog was to say ladies, let’s get it together. We’re always claiming that there are no good men, but I mean, one attracts what one gives off so…

I don’t know everything, but I do know what the Lord has been teaching me in the past month or so, changing my mind about somethings. Things I just had to have in my marriage…or not have. Like me saying that I never wanted to struggle with my husband until my wise sista said that the struggle brings you closer. Or that I HAD to get married in Connecticut, but one day God said to me “what if your future husband has someone who can’t travel?” I was like dang, OK Lord (but I really want to get married in Connecticut BUT now I’m open lol). Yeah so, God has just been pruning & working on me in that area. And having my husbands back will be #1, just like women did back in the day…

The Lord Is My Strength…No Forreals…

Hey ya’ll!! I know, a few of you have been at my neck because I haven’t written a blog since October I believe. Ay yi yi! All bad. But I had an experience yesterday that was so awesomely out of this world that I had to share.

I sent the longest tweet telling this story earlier, but I wanted folks on Facebook or who missed the tweet to be able to know what happened…

Yesterday I wasn’t feeling so well, yup, my blood pressure again. I go to the doc and as the receptionist is checking me out, there were a few of her co-workers behind her who were talking about Jesus, and about the word. So ole girl was typing and looking out the side of her eye to get a feel for what I was thinking, mind you, my blood pressure came down so fast that I was dizzy and no one could properly get a read on ANYTHING that I was thinking. She goes “you guys are loud” and looks at me again, they keep going, she says “shhhh you guys are loud!” again. LOL! I’m like, it’s cool I love Jesus, they can talk about Him all they want. Oh, she’s Catholic by the way, so she’s a believer but…

So another girl, pretty young, probably early 20’s says “i tell him that he should be a missionary all the time” about another fellow in the office. Trying to stand up to walk out I get dizzy again, as I hold on the the chair I told them that I went on a missions trip to Mexico last summer. She’s intrigued by this and starts asking me a gang of questions about homosexuality, levels of sin, sex before marriage… “but if you love someone it’s ok right?” No my sista, not until he’s your husband.

The more I tell her about what the word says about being gay, and sex before marriage, and how no sin is bigger than any other (people try to put being gay at a 10 and fornication at a 7, when really there’s no difference. You want to throw shade, but you having sex with your boyfriend/girlfriend last night isn’t any different than him having sex with his boyfriend last night or her…yeah you get my drift).

Back to what I was saying – the more I told her what the word says and how God is love and He wants us to love our brothers and sisters and not ostracize them, and how dangerous soul ties are when they’re not made with your husband or wife the more I felt better! The more upright I stood! The dizziness just COMPLETELY went away!! The more I proclaimed the word of Jesus more strength I had! It was amazing! Absolutely amazing! He gave me the strength I needed in that moment. She was taking it all in, I mean really taking it in, gasping at the points I was making, eyes wide open. She reminded me of my little sisters in Sister2Sister when we tell them something and it clicks in their heads.

Ahhhh! I just love God! He’s so tight! He uses every situation to help others, I felt awful yesterday, but if that means I helped one more girl cherish her virtue, and another one who believes but is afraid to talk about it because someone might get offended become unafraid, then I’m happy I was ill and that the Lord was able to use me in that moment. I just wanna run around the block when I think about it! But unfortunately I can’t because I still don’t feel so hot. As a matter of fact when I went to go drop my prescriptions off I felt dizzy again and had to sit down. That’s how I KNOW it was God at the doc.

People will get offended, I saw it first hand when a kid sang a praise & worship song in Spanish class. Mind you, he went way over his time limit and it was in English. BUT this one kid was literally shaking he was so mad!! Then says “he was totally praising dude” Dude? did you just call my Jesus dude? The one who died for you too, even when He knew you were going to make that comment right there? I wanted to punch him in his face, but that’s not WJWD. What if Jesus was afraid of sticking up for you? AH! Think about it! Think of all you’ve done and He tells His friends “Yes, I’ve chosen her to lead the dance ministry” I’ve chosen him to be a children’s church teacher” “Her, yeah her right there, I want her to be a missionary, the recovering crack addict yes, that’s who I want” “That one right there who use to sell drugs and run the street, yep I want him to be a pastor”. Do you KNOW how many side eye’s I’m sure He gets, BUT STILL He chooses us and stands by us no matter what!! So how can we deny Him and keep Him hush hush in public!!

Sigh, I digress, if you don’t know Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour I beg of you to PLEASE get to know Him! He’s the only way! The Way, the Truth and the Light!

The Lord is my strength and my strong helper, he has become my salvation: he is my God and I will give him praise; my father’s God and I will give him glory. ~Exodus 15:2~

2011 Fight For Air…

2011 Pledge Event Climb Logo






Christian & I are participating in the American Lung Association’s Fight for Air Climb on 04/30/2011 at Aon Center because breathing shouldn’t be an uphill climb. We are asking for your support because…

  • Lung disease is the third leading cause of death in the U.S. and is responsible for one in seven deaths.
  • Lung cancer is the leading cause of cancer deaths in the U.S.
  • Asthma is the number one chronic disease of children.
  • COPD currently affects 10.2 million Americans.
  • Air Pollution poisons the lungs of over 60% of Americans each day.

These are the facts. The crisis is real. The American Lung Association needs your help.

Christian struggles with asthma, and as a parent it’s one of the hardest things to watch your child go through. Let’s help support the American Lung Association by raising funds and spreading awareness about this disease and the others listed above and how important it is for them to have clean air to breath freely. We will be climbing 63 flights of stars, 1377 stairs in total. Our goal is to raise $200 ($100 each) please make a tax-deductible donation to our Fight for Air Climb team by visiting Christian’s Page or Ivonnah’s Page, click on “Support Christian” or “Support Ivonnah” or “Make a gift” to make your donation…

*Please, I ask that you split your donation in half. Our pages aren’t connected, and we each have to raise at least $100.

If you’re available please come and join us. Sign up to be a part of Team Elevated http://bit.ly/team-elevated2011

Registration: $25
Fund Raising MINIMUM $100*
*you will be charged the difference if you don’t reach $100 dollars
Check out the video of last year to get an idea…LIVELEVATED SERVICE PROJECT 2: Fight for Air

For more than 100 years, the American Lung Association has been the guardian of healthy lungs and clean air. Every dollar we raise enables the American Lung Association to continue its mission to save lives by promoting lung health and preventing lung disease. Every dollar makes a difference.

Thank you for your generosity and support!


Christian & Ivonnah