So You Want To Get Married…

The other day I was talking to my friend/sis Dani. Just about life and why things happen the way that they do. How tragedy seems like the end of the world, but then later on in life we realize why it was done and why it was in Gods plan.

When God created us He had our lives planned out down to the very second! We sometimes (because He gave us that tricky thing called free will) have the ability to screw some things up by making our own way, making our own decisions without asking for guidance first, but because our God is so awesome, He can even turn our screw ups into a way to benefit us and become our testimonies!

We need to learn to lean on our Lord and trust Him fully. He’s the ONLY one who makes the right decision ALL THE TIME! Growing up, I was taught not to question God, because every decision He makes is correct and perfect. But as a fleshly human being HELLO I HAVE QUESTIONS!! Why does this and that happen? She’s such an awesome person why does this always happen to her? How does he always get blessed when he is so evil?

One question I stopped asking was why am I 3….wait no, I asked before now it was more like why am I 28 and still not married with no siiiiign of a prospective husband, not even remotely close! I mean really, my godparents bought me a beautiful pearl necklace when I was 8 years old for my baptism. It had 8 pearls on it and my mom was supposed to put a pearl on it every year on my birthday until I got married…that sucker probably can’t FIT another pearl on it!

I digress…over the past few years I’ve come to realize that when I was in my twenties I had absolutely NO CLUE about what marriage was. Yeah I knew it was a vow to God that should never be broken, you have a ceremony, and I knew you wore a pretty white gown…or off white…cream? And then you partied after and now you are legally and spiritually bound to this person under God for life…life! Ahhhh such a scary concept for me at one point. I didn’t understand the importance of marriage and that marriage wasn’t about me it was about God and glorifying His kingdom. (You know that’s what our whole life is about right? It’s not about us) I use to say that I didn’t want to get married so much that I thought I cursed myself! But no, God knew exactly what he was doing because I also use to say that when I got married, I wasn’t getting a divorce. We gone have ta stick it out bruh…

Definition of covenant: A solemn and binding relationship which is meant to last a lifetime.

Back in the old testament they had to cut a lamb or a goat into two halves and walk between them O_O and say Lord I give you my solemn promise in this covenant and if I break it split me in two like this here carcass. Uhhh yeah, as far as ancestral tradition goes I think we’re gonna stick to jumping the broom.

But seriously! Marriage is a covenant between you two and GOD, it’s not a legal piece of paper, it’s a solemn promise that you’re making with your creator. The one who has the ability to wake or not wake you in the morning. Marriage is like thee most important covenant to God! Which is why you’re supposed to wait to have sex until you’re married. That’s when you two become one with God. (I’ll get into that on a later post) We need to take marriage as seriously as they did in the past. People take their promise to God far too lightly. “She’s not as cute as she use to be” “He’s not as cut as he use to be”. Maaaan please! It’s about so much more than that.

We were getting schooled by Miss Pam the other night and one thing she said was. “Go into marriage knowing you’re not divorcing, you have to work it out”, she also said meet their family (yikes for some of us). With that said, you HAVE to KNOW the person. People get married so quickly now and days you look up and they’re divorcing! Why? Because they didn’t know each other . They’re not on the same page. The person I marry will have to have the same mind set as me or it isn’t going to work. Will we have to agree all the time about everything? No, but on major things? Indeed. That comes with being equally yoked. I can’t believe that Jesus is the Messiah and he believes that Jesus was just a prophet. No bueno, not gonna work boo.

Ok, once again I don’t know how we got on this road over here lol. Maybe it’s because people keep telling me that I’m next…and I receive that in the name of Jesus. I’m so glad that God spared me the pain of divorce or the pain of “sticking it out” with someone that I didn’t want to be with or didn’t want to be with me. He waited until I was ready and mature enough to handle all that marriage entails. I can’t thank Him enough for that…now, how ’bout that husband 🙂

13 responses to “So You Want To Get Married…

  • Addys Castillo

    Well said!

  • patricia

    great thoughts! God will never give you something if your heart isn’t ripe enough to receive it.

    to answer your question: not really. God’s gonna have to really change my heart when it comes to that. it’s been 9 years and counting and im loving being single more and more.

  • Charles Jones aka your brotha!

    Yeah buddy! Good stuff! Keep letting whatever comes out your mind, come out!

  • Tammi Lorraine

    Love it Missy… And you are so right Thank GOD for sparing us… It’s all about trusting that His way is the best way and everything will work out in His time… It’s HARD to sit and wait especially when everyone around you (at least everyone around me) is getting married… Sometimes you start to doubt yourself but it’s important to trust that God’s timing is the BEST timing….

  • Talib Haqq

    Ayo Enjoyed it a great deal, i believe you have many down to earth point.
    Being married once but not having the power of GOD in it for
    8 ROUND/years lol! knowing it was DOOM to fail. Running on free will day in day out and never asking, praying, crying out or thinking about Trusting in GOD.
    What i’m unhappy about is that sometime people are so engulfed in there belief and there facts about other beliefs that sometime come up Mad short of the person goal within what they patronize. You have on idea how much respect i have for and what you stand for with your belief. I read THE Bible the TORAH and the QUR’AN and i know and love JESUS because he is DIE for my SINS and is the only MESSIAH and the PROPHET to all the World. I’ve been asking GOD to put good people in my life like yourself for a long time yet, i still find myself on the outside looking in. I once ask you to pray for me and i trust that you did and still are because i know you are strong women CHRIST. Yo Ivonnah i’m not a writer and i look forward to your writing so maybe i miss the point in that part of your statement that would have me believe that you would not consider a person if he had all the other thing in his life that may you and your family HAPPY, if they don’t believe the same as you. The history of mankind have alway make it’s points about people not feeling the same way about each other belief but it’s always so ugly. Sorry if i miss your point and you miss mine. And i pray that i didn’t say anything out of order
    May Peace and Blessing always be with YOU and YOURS.
    P.S. when are you going to invite me out to WORSHIP with you and PLEASE get back to me and tell me what you and if not i will not ever comment and on what you write again for fear of making you not happy.ONE

  • Allison Barnes

    I love this girl! Sooooo true. Trust me God has a GOOD man headed your way, just “Wait on the Lord”. Also remember to make that special someone your BEST friend, be friends FIRST. It is so important.

  • Jasmine Gordon


  • Jaazer

    Very well said! Your speaking the truth.

  • Rhonda Marie

    I enjoyed reading it as always!

  • Kiziana

    AMEN SISTER!!!!! The most important factor that jumps at me in this is: “IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU!” That’s why I think it is important to get to know who you are in Christ (while single) so once you figure that out, you can move on to the next phase. We are mot meant to be alone [Genesis 2:18], though you may choose too (free will). I agree marriage to me, is a covenant and a partnership.( def: A relationship between individuals or groups that is characterized by mutual cooperation and responsibility, as for the achievement of a specified goal.) That goal is what GOD has now planned for two who now has become one to accomplish. [Ecclesiastes 4:12] Keep it mama, your prince is well on his way! 🙂

  • nicolemarie

    Great post lady! And right on time. It’s so easy to slip into that “Woe is me” mentality so thanks for the reminder! >>Isaiah 40:31<<

  • April

    WOW Von I really enjoyed ready your blog about marriage! Now I can’t wait to read all the others that I’ve missed out on. Your such a inspiration! =) *wink*

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