Companionship, Marriage, Beans, Franks & Scrapple…

The other day I was talking to my friend about companionship, then the importance of a partnership in marriage & how important of a covenant it is to God. We hopped on over to how I’ll never get a divorce once I am married (’til death do us part sucka). Slowly but surely our discussion turned to his detest for beans & franks (together, they’re fine separately smh) & then somehow scrapple became the topic of conversation…don’t ask lol. This was all via bbm…

So later on I got to thinking about relationships. Now, when you’re in a relationship, well I guess when you start dating someone, how open is your conversation? Do you send your representative like Chris Rock said? Or are you yourself completely? I mean, they say that the best relationships come from great friendships, so how come we can be so open with our friends, or how come when we ARE dating someone we’re able to be open with “him/her” & not with “him/her”? What makes the difference? I’ll give you my take on this…

When I’m dating I’m always very cautious…1 reason is because I’ve had men flip from cool to groupie on me (& they call women groupies HA!), once they figure out I’ve been in videos or was on Wild N’ Out ugh boy oh boy. #2 The ones that know, but don’t care about that think they’re getting Ivonnah from TV & then begin to lose interest once they realize I burp & fart just like the next chick. Sometimes, as awesome as I am, I’m very leery about just being ME right off the bat. I’m a little coo coo, what if he doesn’t like my personality? Or I scare him? “I know, I need an artist who understands my thought process”. HAHA! All types of things go through my brain…

I think it’s pretty sad that at times, we feel like we can’t be ourselves, or we have to stifle who we are & put our personalities under a rock. That’s not OK, when we’re in relationships we shouldn’t have to tread water with what we say & how we act. We should be able to be free, open & honest. I’m not saying spill your guts or fart on the first date, ladies, don’t fart at all…ever…but we should feel comfortable with being ourselves with our mate, just as we are with our friends. I love bean casserole (nothin’ but beans & franks baked with brown sugar & butter) now what if he didn’t tell me that my dinner sounded gross? lol I might have made that one day & I would get the “talk to the hand” & “sick face” like he did on bbm haha. We should be able to be ourselves at all times & be loved & appreciated for it…be able to talk about everything from being in love to corn beef hash. If you can’t be vulnerable with your mate then who WILL you be vulnerable with? The next man or woman? Whew! Jesus, I just felt something in my spirit as I typed that, I really want to start shouting, but I don’t think that’s appropriate.

I digress, Flaws & All by Beyonce describes me so well, “I’m a host of imperfection, but you see past all that”…

It all boils down to the fact that we’re not perfect. When we get into relationships we should be able to be as open & as honest as we possibly can be (without being overbearing). We shouldn’t be afraid to be us because we are wonderfully made. God picked every quirk, snort, & tendency when He was putting us together, He doesn’t make any mistakes, & there’s someone out there who’s going to love all of it. We’re all unique, perfect the way we are…to quote the legendary Marilyn Monroe: “I’m selfish, impatient & a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”

Yep, I feel you Marilyn…


10 responses to “Companionship, Marriage, Beans, Franks & Scrapple…

  • Deirdre

    You are so right Ivonnah. I know in my relationships I have always been scared to be myself and I have always had my guard up. How do you start to relax and communicate more? Communication is something I have a problem with.

  • Amber

    I absolutely agree. Be yourself. Life is too short trying to please people especially dudes. I have one life and I’m going to live it for God.

  • Janelle abraham

    Hi Ivonnah, i think when people start dating they start thinking what the girl or guy automatically likes without even knowing them, meaning.. Most might bring the baggages in the past to the new one without even realizing it or how they saw their parents do it or even maybe from books or friends but what we all have to remember is that we are all different and we just need to let go keep Faith and really get to know each other without the Representative, then i understand we all know what type of woman or man we want and what we want them to have but we all have 2 becareful with all the things we want from our mate because we might get it with a price to pay… As long as u Truly Happy with Yourself, and u in touch with God i think u can spot Bullshit a Mile away, Representative or not!!

  • Evelyn

    Maybe that’s why I CAN’T keep one…I’m always burping…

    Lol! I kid, I kid, but you’re right on point sister! Accept me flaws and all boo…that’s all I’m trying to do for you.

  • Kiziana

    Once again, you are a light. A light to those of us afraid to come out of our own darkness. Continue to allow God to use what “you think” is imperfection, corkiness, or artistic to speak to the unspoken. It’s working PERFECTLY for Him!! Your affecting lives for the Kingdom. Love it!! Never had bean casserole though! hmmm… that would be cause for farting, lol! Love you sis!

  • Rhonda Marie

    Lol at Evelyn, just yesterday I let out a nice long burp while walking with my guy…. and all I could do was laugh out like a kid. Because we are friends first he just gave me a look like….. I am so happy you did this before we walked into the office, then he started grinning. Thanks for writing this Von!
    Communication and Friendship equals a great Relationship!

  • Don

    Vonettes,
    I knew you before you knew how to not be yourself! That’s why I still care about you. God knows who’s perfect for each of us. They won’t be “PERFECT,” just, perfect FOR US. Ask God to bring that person into your life; and try to be the best person you can be for the Lord. You’ll be the best for who He brings to you, as well!
    PS Make the hot dog and bean casserole for days when you’ll be outdoors! LOL

  • patricia

    i have no idea how i act in a relationship anymore. i haven’t had a date in over 8 years. LOL

  • D. Kells

    This is why you’re my platonic wife… 🙂

    Your blogs are so insightful, truthful and comical at the same time. You are perfect the way you are; flaws and all…

    @Rhonda- Hahaha to the burping… You are perfect the way you are too sunshine.

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