Sex, Lies, & Standards

I’ve been sitting here listening to Jesus I want you by Chanté Moore… like over and over for about a hour. The first time I heard her sing it was when they shot the video for R&B DIVAS LA at church. I think, maybe she sang it before that, anywho, it literally brought tears to my eyes – but when anyone sings who is filled with the Holy Spirit, it always does. For the past few days it’s been on my heart to write about virtue, but I didn’t know what angle God wanted me to come from, so it’s been on pause. My friend Allison just hit me with one of my faves from Chanté that we use to kill as kids & the melody reminded me of Jesus I want you so I turned it on and it’s been on repeat.

I’ve heard it sung by her a few times, but listening to the words just now really hit me! “I was looking for a friend, looking for a man, I was longing for flesh and bones…”. Men and women both look for the love in the wrong places. We long for the touch and the attention from someone in the natural but only God can fill that void in the spiritual. We go out searching for a mate, but we’re so broken that we keep attracting the wrong people and then we wonder why it doesn’t work out. Sidebar, ladies, Proverbs 18:22 says “He that finds a wife” not “She that go seeketh and searcheth for a man”… I digress, I don’t think that you have to be 100% whole when you find your mate or when your mate finds you, I think when you meet that person God will use them to fill in the cracks and crevasses that are left, but you cannot by any means be a broken mess. No one wants to deal with that, no one wants to be a tub of super glue.

Also, you cannot let your standards be lowered for anyone. I know that all we see is ratch these days, but we are sons & daughters of the King and we are royalty – joint heirs with Christ. Therefore, women we have to set the bar high and we have to be so hidden in Christ that a man has to go through Him to find us. And men you need to be so anchored in Christ that you find it to be your duty to protect her honor. One of my friend’s told me that her husband felt it was his duty to protect her virginity. That means he wasn’t saying “yeah I respect that” because that always comes with a but and dude trying to get some butt.

Respecting that and honoring you are two very different things. Respecting it means “I’ll put up with it as long as I can, if you don’t eventually put out then I’m on to the next” but honoring you means that he is on one accord with you and he feels it is his job to protect your virtue and both his and your purity – whether you’re both virgins or have rededicated your bodies to Christ. It is just as important to him as it is to you that you both abide by God’s word – “flee from fornication”…

I don’t understand why men think that when I say I’m abstaining from sex until marriage that it’s a joke or some ploy to make them chase me. No sir, God shut that down, and He was very serious about it. Did I like it, no, but I’m doing my best everyday to stay obedient to Him and to His word. The world will have you believe that casual sex is alright, it isn’t – that’s a lie from the pit of hell. It causes unnecessary repercussions once you become someone’s husband or wife. A temporary moment of pleasure can lead to a lifetime of pain and I’m so cool on that. I get it, men love the chase, well chase God and see if He lets you chase me to the altar.

3 responses to “Sex, Lies, & Standards

  • uglybeyoutifulme

    I love this can I share this on my page. God has me as well on a journey of sexual integrity. I believe that through obedience of trust God that he will honor our sacrifice. Not to say I am only saving myself to get a mate, NO! I am saving myself because my body belongs to the Lords, no one else is worthy of my body who does not value their own body in the same manner. Sex is a gift that should be honor in marriage, and I value the gift and will wait until I find someone who values it just the same.

  • Don

    You’re on the right track, Vonnie.

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